When you want to talk to aliens, you need to telepathically call them. Don’t yell out your window, “Hey aliens! I wanna talk!” You probably won’t get a response. You need to approach this matter seriously by following these steps.

Difficulty:
 
Moderately Easy

Instructions

    • 1

      Meditate daily. Keep your thoughts pure; like attracts like, and you don’t want to attract any evil aliens. Focus on good, gentle aliens.

    • 2

      Know that aliens communicate telepathically and can hear your thoughts. Call them with clear intention. Tell them the reason you’re calling them.

    • 3

      Gaze at the stars from inside your home. Or, you may want to meditate outside in your underwear. This will save them the trouble of having to remove your clothes should they decide to abduct you.

    • 4

      Persist in your daily meditation call and eventually you will get results. When the aliens appear, you don’t need to shake their hands or introduce yourself. They already know who you are.

    • 5

      Cooperate with the aliens at all times. They get angry if you don’t take their advice or do what they tell you. They may look spindly, but they can easily control you.

    • 6

      Talk with the aliens telepathically. Don’t say words in your mind, use symbols to communicate your ideas.

    • 7

      Ride in their ship if you like. You may not have a choice. Establish an ongoing relationship with them by telling them you want to participate in their breeding program.

Tips & Warnings

  • Don’t try to look an alien in the eye. It’s almost impossible. They can be seen more easily in your peripheral vision.

  • Don’t tell anyone about your talks with aliens. They’ll probably think you’re crazy.

  • Don’t even post on the Internet about your talks with aliens. You may find yourself being followed by Men in Black or being buzzed by black helicopters.